Education World Humor Newsletter Volume 7, Issue 37

Dear Education Professionals, Welcome to the Education World's Education Humor Newsletter. This newsletter is published weekly as a free service by Education World®. You are receiving this newsletter because you signed up to receive our weekly mailing of G-rated jokes and other humor related to the "education world." If you enjoy this newsletter, please feel free to forward it to other teachers. If this newsletter has been forwarded to you, you may sign up to receive it at http://www.educationworld.com/maillist.shtml. Education World is the largest free resource on the Web for teachers and school administrators. We remain a free resource thanks to the support of our advertisers -- so please click on ads of interest and visit our advertisers' sites. =============================================================================== This week's newsletter is sponsored by Dell. Simplify IT management with Dell ImageDirect. Get your system images preloaded and ready to deploy, right out of the box. Learn more. ============================================================================ This week's newsletter is sponsored by Scholastic. Introducing, Scholastic PrintablesTM — the new online service from Scholastic— the most trusted name in learning. Scholastic Printables™ offers all of your favorite teaching resources in one place! With more than 10,000 reproducibles, clip art images, and Leveled Learning Packs to choose from, you are well on your way to enhancing your classroom instruction activities and reaching every student. Visit Scholastic Printables and find out how to access, organize, and customize your teaching resources. ============================================================================ Volume 7, Issue 37 September 11 , 2008 ****************************************************************************** EDUCATION WORLD PREMIERE HUMOR: ****************************************************************************** Give Me Your A.P. Notes Sung to the tune of "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benetar   Well you're a real smart cookie with a long history Of getting perfect As, not a single B That's OK, let me see how you make it Rotate that page, so I can fake it   Give me your A.P. notes Why don't you give me your A.P. notes Give me your A.P. notes Or I'll take them away!   To shrug off my suggestion is a risky path We'll go to the girl's bathroom, where you'll take a bath Tell me no, it's all in vain If you ever want to see your other notebooks again!   Give me your A.P. notes Why don't you give me your A.P. notes Give me your A.P. notes Or I'll take them away!   Well, you're a real smart cookie with a long history Of getting perfect As, not a single B Before your new shoes have an accident you can't repair Hold that page up higher … to left … right there!   Give me your A.P. notes Why don't you give me your A.P. notes Give me your A.P. notes Or I'll take them away!    ****************************************************************************** MORE INTERESTING THAN RIGHT… ANSWERS TO SCIENCE QUESTIONS ******************************************************************************     Q ~ What is evaporation? A ~ It's when you forget to put the top back on   Q ~ How are clouds formed? A ~ The important thing is that the clouds know how to do it   Q ~ Name the four seasons A ~ salt, pepper, mustard, and ketchup   Q ~ What are steroids? A ~ Fake stairs   Q ~ Name one disease associated with smoking A ~ Death   Q ~ What are varicose veins? A ~ Veins that are too close together   Q ~ What is the basic idea of the theory of evolution? A ~ Our parents are monkeys   Q ~ What is the process by which steam returns to the liquid form of water? A ~ Conversation   Q ~ What is the process by which water is made safe to drink? A ~ Flirtation   Q ~ What causes ocean tides? A ~ The Earth wiggles and sloshes the water around   Q ~ What are the three types of blood vessels? A ~ Arteries, vanes, and caterpillars   Q ~ What was the Big Bang A ~ My mom would be really upset if I answered this question   ************************************************************************** Education World now incorporates www.SchoolNotes.com ~ "everybody on the same page!" The leading school-to-home communications platform, with FREE pages for teachers and automatic notification of parents and students when new homework is posted! For a modest $24.95 PER YEAR, upgrade to Personal Edition, "Super SchoolNotes," with thousands of resources linked to your state's standards! Click here for more information ************************************************************************** Would you like to contribute humor or just let us know what you find funny about the life of an educator? Write to WEBMASTER@EDUCATIONWORLD.COM ... Please put a sensible note in the subject line. Then get ridiculous in your e-mail. *************************************************************************** SIGN UP FOR OUR OTHER NEWSLETTERS *************************************************************************** We hope you enjoy receiving this Education World e-newsletter. Did you know that Education World offers eight other FREE weekly newsletters? Have you signed up to receive the... Education World JOBS NEWSLETTER? For those searching for a job in the education field, you will find new listings of teaching and administration jobs that have been submitted to Education World. Administrators, if you would like to post a position opening, submit it to: http://www.educationworld.com/jobs/submit_job.shtml Would you like to see a sample of the Education World Jobs Newsletter? 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If this newsletter has been forwarded to you, you may sign up for it -- and any of the other Education World newsletters -- at http://www.educationworld.com/maillist.shtml. =================================== Education World® http://www.educationworld.com/ newsletter-humor@educationworld.com =================================== We have attempted to research all the jokes and other humor that appear in this newsletter to ensure that no copyrights have been violated. We have noted sources where they are available. The humor that appears in this weekly newsletter does not appear on the Education World Web site. Education World 1062 Barnes Road Suite 205 Wallingford, CT 06492 ===================================